It is the end of another year 2008, ups and downs aplenty. Time passes real fast and changes in life happen in a blink of an eye and I still cannot seem to accept and understand well enough, don’t know whether I will??? I wish there was some weird thing which would allow us to turn/ stop time.  Work has been piling up, but guess I won’t complain as when holidays come I would complain I am too free again, but still tourism + psychology especially in year 2 is certainly not easy to handle…..  Holidays have just ended 2 days ago and I would say that again the wants that I wanted to do during this short period of time is yes…. not exactly done….. 

Psychology
Perhaps the best thing I have ever done in 2008 is to take up Psychology,  learnt alot about life and people through psychology, how the human mind works and behaves can sometimes be really amazing or extremely disgusting. It taught me how to view people better and from another angle and it provided me with an avenue to understand myself and talk about my personal thoughts which I hardly have the chance to talk about nowadays. Perhaps it is due to the present lack of “friends” which i really feel comfortable to talk with, don’t know why???. Relationships are indeed really a 2 way thing,  its really very hard to understand. Most importantly it taught me why some people should really be treasured and many values that I can live my life with.

FOP (Freshmen Orientation Programme)
Still remember vividly the experience with FOP 2007, got to know DTRM 01 and I can say it was the turning point in my life this year. From shifting my priority from achieveing outstanding academic results to one that achieve a balance between acieveing results and to treasure relationships especially friends from the past. Though I hardly see DTRM 01 these days, the movie outings and birthday celebrations that I had we them in the earlier part of the semester is still vividly etched in my mind. It was these people who made me realized what should be my priorities.

DTRM 01 (My Class)
Though I can say I feel somesort of connection with this class AS A WHOLE but sometimes it’s really doubtful, honestly sometimes it really feels that it is just a group of pp coming together for tutorials/ lectures/ projects, maybe its due to the cliques formed or perhaps its all your conservative mindsets, i really don’t know but I feel something’s missing from this class. Are we really that united and good?????

Academics
I’m really grateful that my hardwork pays off,  honour’s roll for 3 semesters, to me i also really think it is some sort of a feat achieved, I’ve never done so well for my studies before in SJI even though I can say I put in equally huge amount of effort. Naturally with such a feat comes recognition and glory which I chose to remain quiet and not really emphasize about but lecturers really see it differently. I will still strive hard for myself and my course which I really love but what’s all this really worth I wonder,  sometimes I had questioned myself is it more worth it if i could exchange all these for the reliving of more memories of the past, strengthen the bonds with the people I feel who are really important to me and stronger friendships with people now.

Friends
Friends come and go, you make new ones, you strengthen the bonds with some, but ever since I left SJI and NYJC friendship which I feel can really last and comfortable about is seriously hard to come by….. Friendship is really much a 2-way thing….  I really wonder whether the friends I have now can really last, we never ever went out just to have fun before free of work, projects and the class… tried to initiate but rejected….lolz…. there’s also this thought lingering whether some people I become friends with know me just because of my results (just have that feeling with some people, I would describe as “xu wei”…… ”you hu si luan xiang le”…..

on the brighter side meet-ups and occassional talks with friends from the past really made me feel very comfortable, I seriously hope we can strengthen our ties in 2009, though some are entering ns, i really treasure you pp alot…….besides there is also the constant fear of losing touch and contact which i’m extremely scared…. i can say i have a number of “friends”  but those that can really fit the definition of being a friend to me is really like just countable.  Its okay, friendship should be of quality rather than quantity, even if I have just a few friends but I have strong bonds with them I really won’t mind at all. 

Motivation
What really kept me going on is really 3 sentences from the past, what Ms Wong said to me on the O’Level results day, Yvonne Lim’s words of encouragement at Mediacorp December Dazzle 2004 and from Arnold Scwarz. the california governor on one episode of The Apprentice 6, their words to me I feel are of great power. Not forgetting the friends that I have, its really surprising how motivated and driven I was after that day of AP 2008 just thinking about it….

Just a summary of my thoughts of 2008 (lazy to type everything out lolz)…  doesn’t look too positive and good right???? besides the results part…. but what to do…..??????? life is just like that and life’s still life we have to live through everything thrown at us anyway……

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